with author Allana Pratt
5 secrets to heal from any heartbreak
Heartbreak is heartbreak, whether death, divorce, losing a home, a job, a boyfriend, a pet... even turning 40 can feel like a loss of youth. Mix the emotions of the heartbreak with almost a societal pressure to be tanned, thin and hopelessly in love—it can feel like too much to handle.
5 Secrets to Heal from the Heartbreak
Get Support Let’s say you have broken up with a lover, a boyfriend or have ended your marriage. This is huge. The person who was normally there for you, isn’t. Thus it’s imperative you find a loving mentor, a coach or a trusted unbiased friend to support you, listen, get you, never fix you, just hold space for you to be real. All too often we skip this step and get right back into another relationship before we’re healed, and this rebound relationship rarely works out, leaving you even more heartbroken.
Release your Emotions Let’s say you got fired. There may be emotions of betrayal, abandonment or just plain fury brewing inside—NOT the most attractive qualities when seeking new employment! Release—not harbor or stew over or complain or blame—but release your emotions by feeling them with the intention to let them go... so as to hear the wisdom beneath them, guiding you to an even better experience. Hit a pillow, scream into a pillow, watch a sad movie, cry in the bath... give yourself permission to purge.
Talk to the Hand Let’s say your beloved pet has passed. I recommend not letting other people’s opinions, comments, advice, stories, bother you—you don't even need to entertain them. Let them leave a message, feel free to delete their email—it’s just their opinion. And when our big ‘ol hearts are hurting, we’re more susceptible to picking up on THEIR triggered emotions of when THEY lost their pet—and it’s just too much to handle. Give yourself permission to take your alone time, step aside from the barrage of unsolicited advice and take tender care of YOU.
Embrace the Gift Let’s say you have lost your home. This happened to me after my mom died and I went through a divorce. I was spending more than I was making, but I had used my mom’s inheritance to renovate and it felt wrong to leave. Honestly, I was afraid and embarrassed to downsize so I was slow in embracing the gift of selling the house, releasing the financial burden and simplifying my life. What’s the gift in this situation? Are you willing to receive it?
Do What you Love Let’s say someone had died. Whoa. A big blow to your life. I often think of the loved one on the other side... would they want us to grieve forever? Or would they want us to grieve, move through our sadness and celebrate the life we still have, in honor of them? The day of my mom’s funeral, my family went out for fish and chips and beer... just what mom liked. While I cried and cried, I also reminded myself how much she loved me and believed in me following my dreams, so I committed even more deeply to do what I love, and share my inspiration with others.