the 5 smartest ways to avoid rehab

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Jun 26 4:57 PM posted by author Steve Truitt

Rehab is the most popular (forgive the pun) buzz word for curing out of control celebs and angry ball players, but it’s also a very serious place to wind up with a hangover!  If you’re on the road before the road to recovery, chances are you have some issues you need to work on.  While you’re doing that, here are the five best ways to keep yourself in check and avoid hitting bottom.

1. Don’t Drive. Simple enough, although I’ve heard people actually say to me “Hey, I drive better when I’m drunk!”  That may be true, but when Johnny Law asks you to walk the white line, you’ll wish you wereonlygoing to Rehab!

2. No Fighting. Okay, the game was close and you got screwed at the end, but don’t let the dude next to you with the oversized football jersey and cheeseburger bits in his beard get your goat!  Save the brawling for the guys with the shoulder pads and great dental insurance.

3. No Public Peeing. I know, the line for the bathroom was super long and your bladder felt like a balloon filled with a bucket’s worth of heavy water!  Nonetheless, public urination is not only a crime, it’s gross. And god forbid you’re draining the main vein on the rear quarter panel of that cop car in the parking lot! Unless you can actually spell your name in the snowperfectly, leave the outside peeing to the dog.

4. Plan Ahead for the Office Party It’s a big red flag to the boss if you’re the one on or under the table whooping it up at the end-of-the-year corporate bash.  The big wigs tend to not like it when you steal their ties and wear them as headgear.  Keep yourself to a two-drink maximum, and you’ll keep your job as well.

5. Get into “Pre-hab!” The best way to know if you’re candidate for a detox facility is to see how long you can go without a drink, and how you react mentally and physically as a result.  If you can’t last a day without tossing back some kind of liquid courage, it’s time to consider sending everybody home – this party’s over.