you can have everything you want (even though you're "fat")
While I have never been fat-fat, I have also never been thin-thin. I have traveled through life in the netherworld of size ambiguity, fat enough to have a "weight issue," thin enough never to be ostracized because of it. Still, my weight has almost always been the thing I think of as holding me back. It's my albatross, the excuse I use to explain all life's failures, injustices and cruel twists of fate.
In fact, until pretty recently, I believed that my "weight problem" would keep me from ever finding the kind of person worth spending my life with. Or maybe it wouldn't keep me from finding him, but it would certainly keep me from winning him and keeping him. I believed that by failing to lose weight, I was sentencing myself to a lifetime of solitary confinement as punishment for my pathetic lack of willpower.
Then, at 35, I fell in love. And all the fears I'd had about being undesirable because of my weight -- that I was physically unattractive, that I lacked inner strength, that any self-respecting, successful man believed he deserved to have a skinny wife, which meant he believed he deserved better than me -- all those fears disappeared overnight, just like everyone had always said they would when I met the right person. Did I all of a sudden feel happy with my body? Of course not. But I no longer believed that my physical body would stand between me and the life I had always wanted.
Check out the whole story on the Huffington Post, and be sure to comment to get involved in the conversation!
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