dating expert: why being old fashioned could put you in danger

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Jul 19 7:00 PM posted by Team Ricki

Friend of Ricki Yvonne Chase: Yesterday, while waiting to be seen in the ER, there was an elderly woman in the bed next to me having a conversation with her relative about dating. These sorts of conversations find me everywhere and I love it. The relative started off by telling her dear aunt about her most recent dating debacle to which I interjected, “Do you need a coach? I can help you.”

Apparently she had met a guy online who turned out to be a jerk -- "they’re all jerks," she said.  "They have no manners and all they want is sex.”  I pulled the curtain back that separated us and asked if it was okay to join the conversation.  Of course it was.  I learned about a new dating site called Our Time; a site for the fifty and older bunch. 

Her date was fifty-nine, well off and drove a fancy Lamborghini.  He picked her up from her place (mistake number one) and took her to a fancy restaurant for a delicious dinner (mistake number two.)  When he picked her up at her place, she allowed him inside and she said he was very touchy feely and huggy-huggy.  After dinner, he expected to go back to her place for a nightcap.  She was mad at that and assumed he was a well mannered gentleman just because he picked her up and took her to a fancy schmancy restaurant for dinner.

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Ladies, this is 2012 and we are living in a very dangerous world. It's never a good idea to let some strange man you met online pick you up at your place. What if he’s an ax murderer or stalker? She said I’m old fashioned and I said me too.  Its better to be old fashioned and alive than old fashioned and dead. You have lots of time to be old fashioned once you find out who he really is. 

In addition, I thought we abandoned the idea that a man is a good man if he takes us to a ten star restaurant for dinner.  I’m sure I’m not the only one who’s been wined and dined at fancy restaurants by a man who turned out to be the biggest jerk ever!

Here’s my advice to you and to her, the first few dates are for matching a face to name and content written in profile to character.  All of that can be done in a very short date at your local coffee shop.   When I was hanging out in the world of online dating, the majority of my first few screening dates happened at coffee shops and cafes. 

Five hour first dates are not the way to go when you are meeting for the first time.  What if you don’t like him? What if he doesn’t like you? Now both of you have to pretend or ditch the other on your trip to the restroom.

Something to think about!

Yvonne Chase aka The Single Woman’s Cheerleader is a Dating & Relationship Coach to Singles and Pre-Couples.  Her #1 mission is to create a movement of available and happy single women who enter relationships out of want, not need, as well as cut the divorce rate by teaching women how to date smart. Get more from Yvonne at YvonneChase.com.