mom: gone, but not forgotten
Friend of Ricki Bruce Sallan: As spring comes and goes, I can’t help but get melancholy since I miss my mother so very much. She’s been gone over three years and I still pick up the phone to call her when any good news occurs.
What I remember most about my mother was her wisdom. Of course, as a teenager I thought she didn’t know squat, but all teens go through and hopefully grow out of that phase. Thankfully, I did pay attention and learn from not only her words, but also her actions.
The irony of my mother’s advice is how relevant it is to our ever-changing way of communication and relating to one another. Everything my mother told me applies to all the current machinations of people-to-people relationships and, especially, to social media. Her advice was simple -- think about others first. Care and ask about them rather than talk about yourself. Express interest in others and mean it. Forgive the slights and don’t get hung up on the small stuff. If you want perfect friends, you won’t have any friends.
My mother’s advice rings true to this day and I think about it every time I get overly sensitive about something a friend or family member might have said or done.
I also remember one big thing she taught me, though it didn’t manifest itself in my own actions until my adulthood. When I lived at home and would bring over a friend, my mother would engage in conversation with him or her. Later, my mother would make a comment to me about that friend and reveal something I never knew about the friend! How the heck did she find THAT out when it was MY friend?
Simple, she paid attention, asked questions, was genuinely interested in the other person. Now, decades later, I often get people to reveal things that make them say, “I can’t believe I told you that!” Thank you, mom!
There’s another memory I have that I cherish from both my parents. That is the love they shared. Married for 66 years, together for 73 years. My father had lunch with my mother EVERY day. They never sat together without interacting and sharing. My dad’s work was dull, but my mom always expressed interest and offered an ear when he was frustrated. Dad worshiped my mom and saw the beautiful 14-year-old he met at a Detroit lake even after her stroke had left her a bit addled. It was a love for the ages.
I don't need Mother's Day to say, “Thank you Mom. I love you so very much.”
Share a message to your own mom in the comments.
Bruce Sallan, author of “A Dad’s Point-of-View: We ARE Half the Equation” gave up a long-term showbiz career to become a stay-at-home-dad. Dedicating his new career to becoming THE Dad advocate, Bruce carries his mission through his book, radio show and syndicated column. Connect with Bruce on Facebook and Twitter.