Five Tips To Decoding Your Teen

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Topics: parenting

On Thursday's show "Teens In Danger," psychotherapist Brooke Miller provides parental tips and tools needed to create a relationship with your teens. The advice columnist and licensed psychotherapist is the founder of Soapbox Therapy, a network of regular advice columns, videos, private consultations and workshops, give us her five tips to figuring out your teen. Check your local listings

#1 Ask Vs. Tell

According to Miller, parents need to stop “shoulding” your children. “Don’t “should” all over your children,” she says. Parents should get in the habit of asking more than telling their teens what they should be doing. Engaging them in conversation is the best way to establish a trust between yourself and your teen. You might often hear “ I don’t know,” but that may be the truth and not an excuse given to avoid conversation.

#2 Put Aside Judgement

“They are not you, they are themselves,” Miller advises. The more judgment your children hear, the less they are inclined to approach you about issues.

#3 Parenting Over Friendship

Valuing friendship over parenting will get you in trouble. Miller’s best advice is to value good parenting first before becoming their friend.

#4 Be Consistent To Establish Trust

Teens deserve freedom to blossom, and parents need to trust their children will not go off the deep end. The best way to accomplish this is to find out what works best for them and what they need. Parents need to compromise with their adolescents in order to gain trust.

When children live in two households, it’s important to have “parallel parenting” in both homes. Successful “parallel parenting” leads to mom and dad becoming the go-to-person.

#5 Your Kids Needs To Talk To Someone Else

Parents need to be okay if your teen needs to talk to someone else like a coach or teacher. If your child can open up to a third party, it is not a bad thing. Mom and dad must be willing to surrender to the fact that your kid needs to talk to someone else. This is not a time to become jealous about it. “Let it go!”